Real estate agents must prepare for potential disruptions from property neighbors who can’t mind their own business
By Jason Henninger
For each transaction, residential real estate agents must consider marketing, scheduling open houses and viewings, addressing local laws and numerous other concerns. But sometimes you have to leap hurdles you didn’t even see coming, including uncooperative neighbors. We’re not talking about someone with a messy lawn or whose house could use a coat of paint. We’re talking about the in-your-face, aggressive and spiteful types who seem
to come out of nowhere and cause trouble. What makes them behave like that? And what can you do to diffuse the situation or even turn it around until they’re on your side?
“A bad, difficult neighbor is not so much one who doesn’t have the property up to par. It’s a free country, and they can keep their property however they feel like. That’s the beauty of private property,” says Jonathan Roberts, CRS, managing broker at Jonathan Roberts Realty in Charlotte, North Carolina. “I would say the difficulty comes when you have a neighbor who is angry and unwilling to communicate.”
In the worst-case scenario, the neighbor is a difficult individual—someone who enjoys causing disruption and behaving rudely without any particular reason. They may interrupt your work or act in ways that deter potential buyers. They could also be a factor in why the seller decided to move. In such instances, your options may be limited, regardless of your experience and ability to get along with others. It may become necessary to involve the authorities if the neighbor poses a threat.
A problem or opportunity?
But the good news is most people are not inclined to be unpleasant without reason. Far more common is the neighbor who feels threatened by change and may believe they have something to lose by the neighborhood changing. While not always pleasant, such people can be reasoned with if you can identify what they need.
Allen Duhe, CRS, sales agent at Latter & Blum in Lafayette, Louisiana, had a particularly difficult neighbor but managed to get her on his side. The issue began when Duhe tried to sell a home with many unusual customizations. Duhe, whose background is in interior design, knew right away it was going to take a little finesse to sell the atypical design, but the job got a lot harder when the neighbor decided to start telling people who came to look at the place that it was a weird home, effectively driving away possible buyers.
“This lady lived next door. She’d appear at every open house I held and tell anyone who would listen what a bad floor plan it was. She pointed out every single design flaw, though she couldn’t fault any of the actual workmanship, as this was a good builder,” Duhe says. He admits that she was right. The house was an odd one, with unconventional modifications to the kitchen and bathrooms especially. But right or wrong, she wasn’t helping.
After a few spoiled open houses, Duhe tried a new approach. He asked to speak to the neighbor after the prospective buyers had left and let her know that the longer the house was on the market, the greater the chance of her own property value diminishing.
“That got her attention,” he says. “I told her, ‘If it stays on the market for a long time, we’ll have to reduce the price, perhaps repeatedly. If it sells for a low price, that could substantially hurt resale values in the whole neighborhood, including your home. Besides, you want nice neighbors, I’m sure. Let’s see if there’s anyone you know who would make a great neighbor and help me sell it.’”
After that, the neighbor was squarely on Duhe’s side. She spoke in glowing terms of the design at open houses and even brought friends to look at the place. Before long, the home was sold.
Communication is everything
Neighborly concerns often focus on property values and the impact of changes within the neighborhood. Some neighbors might worry about the potential for shifts in the community dynamic and how these could influence local property values. This concern is sometimes heightened in areas where corporations own numerous properties for rental purposes, as a high turnover of renters might lead to perceptions of instability. However, open and friendly communication between real estate professionals and concerned neighbors can often alleviate these worries and help maintain a harmonious community.
“You have to stay reasonable even when they’re not being reasonable,” Duhe says. “The more reasonable you get, usually the more it ticks them off, but eventually they figure out you’re not a bad guy and you’re not trying to mess with them. You’re going to sell to someone who can afford the house and someone who’s going to be a good neighbor because they’re buying a nice house and investing their time and money into it.”
On occasion, a neighbor may cause problems without meaning to. For example, if they’ve lived in their home for decades, the neighbor might voice astonishment at what homes go for now and may even, without the slightest intended malice, give a prospective buyer the feeling that the house is overpriced, though it’s simply a matter of the market changing over time. A direct talk between the agent and the neighbor will also suffice here.
Roberts says communication is the heart of the solution and, in some cases, can diffuse a problem before it gets ugly. He shares a situation in which the new homeowner realized that the previous owner allowed a neighbor to build a fence in an area that legally belonged to the new owner. Roberts quickly realized this was a case that could cause a lot of tension between neighbors. “I knew this would be a problem unless we got in front of it,” he says.
The last thing he wanted was for the new owner to say, “Hi, I’m your new neighbor. Move your fence.” Instead, Roberts opted to risk being the “bad guy,” so his client would not look like the problem. Roberts got the survey, which showed where the land was correct to be divided, and informed the neighbor. Fortunately, the neighbor agreed to move the fence without hassle, and no bad blood was created.
No one has the power to dictate someone else’s actions, which can make dealing with a difficult neighbor feel like an insurmountable challenge during a property sale. However, agents are not without resources. The key thing to note is that residential real estate agents specialize in fostering relationships. Through effective and sincere communication, they can often change even the most challenging neighbor’s attitude. This not only improves the neighborhood’s atmosphere for everyone but also enhances the agent’s professional standing.
Grey Rock Communication
Sometimes, people like to stir up a mess simply because they enjoy the chaos created. When speaking with an irate person, the last thing you want to do is appear angry. If they feed off the hostility, the best course is to starve them.
Grey rock is a technique developed by psychologists to deal with abusive or manipulative people. It’s a state of even-keel listening and responding—not ignoring, but not engaging emotionally. Instead, you should stick calmly to facts and add no drama. The irate person will often flare up in hostility at the calmness and then burn out and lose interest.
Sharpen your skills as a residential real estate agent with our certifications at CRS.com/education/certifications-and-certificates.
Photo: Getty Images/Rawpixel/Saturn_3/ youngID/baytunc
