Find ways to connect with clients with soft skills
By Michelle Markelz
Few consumers are fond of the hard sell, but in real estate—perhaps more than in other industries—soft skills are the way to the customer’s heart.
A 2020 survey by Wakefield Research (commissioned by Century 21) found that 73% of home sellers believe their real estate agent is as valuable as a therapist, and 64% of homebuyers say their agent knows them better than their next-door neighbor. Considering that about 40% of Americans say buying a home is the most stressful event in their life, and one-third of homebuyers report that the process brought them to tears, it makes sense that buyers would seek out trusted advisors to shepherd them through the journey to homeownership.
With great trust comes great expectations. Homebuyers and sellers today are looking for agents who can literally help them realize their dreams—a feat not easily achieved without the diligent work of laying a personal foundation. While it may seem uncomfortable or unconventional to mix business and personal relationships, REALTORS® who can strike a balance between professionalism and empathy find that a personal approach resonates with clients and elevates the client experience from that of an online service.
Jenny Smithson, CRS, managing broker of Lippard Realty in Enid, Oklahoma, says she regularly uses her master’s degree in counseling psychology and 17 years of experience as a school counselor to help her clients through the emotional processes of homebuying and selling. Especially for sellers, letting go of a home can be emotionally fraught.
“People always think selling a house is a happy experience, but when people have a divorce or death, it’s good to know how to make them feel better,” Smithson says. “You can sense when someone is grieving and help put them at ease with what they’re doing. Sometimes people feel silly or ridiculous for having an emotional attachment to a house. I let them know it’s normal to feel this way and provide some tips for how to deal with that.”
Smithson suggests that sellers take photographs of a house or keep an item from the property that gives the seller comfort—such as flowers that a loved one may have planted. Just be sure that the seller gets consent from the buyer before removing anything from the property.
Decision-making process
Mark Handlovitch, CRS, associate broker REMAX Real Estate Solutions in Pittsburgh, counsels clients to factor in their plans for the future. “There have been many past clients who have mentioned to me in a conversation that they took my advice and didn’t realize until years later how much it paid off,” Handlovitch says. He recalls one client who wanted to back out of a sale because he didn’t believe that his ex-spouse, who was owed child support, would use the money for their children. Handlovitch advised him to go through with the sale and show his children that he did all he could to support them. “Three years later we spoke, and he thanked me and said it was one of the best choices he ever made,” Handlovitch says.
Homebuying can be just as emotional as selling. As the Wall Street Journal reported in 2016, many factors can cloud buyers’ decision-making. They may become fixated on small details, like the length of the driveway, that they believe will have an outsize influence on their happiness with the home, while overlooking big, immutable details, like location.
Smithson says that when she used to help students through big decisions, such as choosing a college, making a list of pros and cons was a helpful way to bring some objectivity back to the process. Sometimes with clients, she is the voice of reason when a sale is just not a good fit.
“I’ve talked people out of buying a house because I recognized that they weren’t ready to part with [their] house,” Smithson says. “Maybe it’s not always best for my pocketbook, but it’s best for their life.”
Emotional challenges
When it comes to negotiation and hammering out the minutiae of give and take, simply acting as a buffer from the details of the process that can stir up emotion is another way Smithson advocates for her clients. Elizabeth O’Conor, CRS, with Coldwell Banker Ana Ochoa & Company in Laredo, Texas, shares the sentiment.
“When it gets tough in a market or in a transaction, I feel that’s when I can best serve my purpose,” O’Conor says. “I never thought of myself as a salesman. I help people move forward in their lives. I tell them to put their stress on me because my job is to help lift it.”
Though not everyone has the benefit of formal training, Smithson says that all REALTORS® can support their clients by demonstrating an understanding of the emotional challenges they face, even if it feels uncomfortable. “Some people don’t want to get involved [in clients’ personal challenges]. They want to keep things at a business level,” she says. “But I think even if you’re not getting involved, you can still be sympathetic.”
Creative Connections During COVID-19
Face-to-face interaction is a huge factor in building a trusting personal relationship. Speaker and body language coach Carol Kinsey Goman writes in Forbes: “In face-to-face meetings, our brains process the continual cascade of nonverbal cues that we use as the basis for building trust and professional intimacy. … Most interesting, in face-to-face encounters the brain’s ‘mirror neurons’ (the neural mechanism that fires when we perform an act or see another perform that same action) mimic not just behaviors, but sensations and feelings as well.”
While social distancing to slow the spread of COVID-19 limits the means for building relationships, agents are finding other ways to nurture personal bonds.
“I sewed fabric masks for my buyer and seller clients, so they would have some sort of personal protective equipment available,” says Jen Ward, CRS, with Cummings & Co. “One of my clients posted on social media that I was her therapist who kept her calm and positive.”
“I took care packages to 17 of my families and incorporated a game with stones to help the kids understand they are not alone,” says Lilly Garcia, CRS, broker and CEO of Lilly Garcia REALTORS®.
“Buyers and sellers want to better understand exactly what the process is, how to best navigate it and what expectations buyers and sellers should have,” says Mark Handlovitch, CRS, associate broker REMAX Real Estate Solutions.
“I do enjoy taking the time to break down the process, so our clients are able to comfortably move forward and not have any surprises. I use tools such as BombBomb, Facebook Messenger, Instagram and other platforms, depending on the client, to reach out and walk each person through the processes.”
It’s as important to foster relationships with REALTORS® as it is with customers. Follow the private CRS group on Facebook to connect and engage with other RRC members at facebook.com/groups/WeAreCRS.
Photo: iStock.com/RicardoImagen
