Understand that negotiating is an emotional exercise and you will meet with success.
By Jackie Leavenworth, CRS
Win-win should be the negotiation goal these days, yet we sometimes find negotiations turning into a win-lose, or even lose-lose situations—and no one likes to be a loser. I’m sure we have all experienced closing a transaction in which our client, the seller or the buyer, felt as if they got the “short end of the stick.” When that happens, even though the transaction closed, we will typically not get their repeat business and they will not be a future referral source, in which case, we lose, too.
Unfortunately, a win-lose outcome seems to be the goal of too many real estate agents. We learned to win when we were two or three years old playing Go Fish and the thrill of the win has stayed with us into adulthood. I am shocked at some of the nasty exchanges that take place between agents who are supposed to be working to complete a transaction for their clients. We are so anxious to advocate the position of our client and win for them that we forget the fact that it is possible to advocate without adversity.
Agents can, in fact, play nice, be polite and still win: Fairness is key.
Interestingly enough, the word “fairly” appeared in the National Association of REALTORS® Code of Ethics until the early ’90s, when it was eliminated. We can remove the word from the code, but we cannot remove the need to be treated fairly from the human heart. Research shows that people will actually act against their own best interests to spite another person who they believe treated them unfairly. Think of sellers who are offended by a low-ball offer on their home and then refuse to ever sell to that particular buyer, even at full price.
Consider asking your clients this question: “What would have to happen for you to feel you were treated fairly in these negotiations?”
It’s an interesting question that gets interesting answers, and helps you ensure that your clients feel that they are treated fairly. People will give much more and remain more loyal when they believe they are cared about. That’s really what they’re looking for.
Two agents in Alabama who had been working through counteroffers heard me teach this philosophy. During class, the buyer’s agent realized that the sellers kept inching toward the buyer, but her buyers had not given anything in return. The buyer’s agent called the buyers and asked if they really wanted that particular property. When the buyers said they did, the agent explained that perhaps they could make it happen by offering something that might make the sellers feel they were getting a “fair shake.” The buyers made a new counteroffer that the seller agreed to that night. The agents put that $800,000 cash transaction together after struggling for nearly two months.
This is exactly what win-win negotiating gets you: Closing more deals and building a relationship that ensures your client walks away feeling satisfied, ready to return again and refer you to everyone they know.
Want more insight? Jackie Leavenworth recommends you read the book Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior by brothers Ori and Rom Brafman.
